Dear Women,

In as much as we crave the fidelity of our husbands we too have to be faithful not just sexually but financially, emotionally and in prayers as well.
No doubt in most cases some wives are the reasons why their husbands cheat on them. Most women, after marriage tend to careless on how they look especially after having one or more kids. Some have been caught on bed with another man other than their husbands, some have intentionally or unintentionally pushed their husbands outside with the way they handle things at home(manner of approach, close monitoring, suspicious of every move et al…)
Speak to your husband with respect privately and publicly. There is nothing a man craves for like respect. Watch your tone and words when speaking with him. If you are upset about anything, speak softly and respectfully and if he isn’t in the mood to talk let him be at the time and find a better time to speak. Some if not most reasons for a man’s infidelity is a nagging wife.
Sexually, it is commonly believed especially in Africa that married women do not cheat and can’t cheat on their husbands. Well trust me there are married women who cheat on their husbands for reasons best known to them. Some reasons I have seen or heard are either the man’s sex organ is too small, he is financially incapable of taking care of the family, he is not in the same city where she lives, he lost interest after she put to bed or just to pay back his infidelity and so on.
For me no reason is good enough to cheat on your husband. There is nothing that can’t be worked on when the two of you sit and talk things out. If you feel your husband cheats on you because of a loosed vagina after giving birth to one or more kids, there are exercises that can help you keep that place firm and fit such as squat and kegel exercises. These exercises help to tighten your pelvic muscles and are as well healthy for every woman. Above all take care of yourself in and out. Look neat and clean always before your husband. Never stop seducing your husband. Walk around him naked and let the towel loose when in front of him. Don’t be be too churchy or all spiritual that you forget to be romantic.
Never deny your husband sex as that is his right no matter what happens. Do not starve him of sex because you are angry. In fact almost every dispute is settled at night between a husband and a wife. When you start starving your husband with sex, you are already paving ways for infidelity in your home.
Financially, some women have been found unfaithful towards their husbands. Like the help meet you are as the Bible describes, If you are working or running a business, there is nothing wrong in assisting your husband especially when you know he is putting in every effort to take care of the home. And even if you are a full time house wife, be modest in your demands. Not every man will take it lightly after he finds out you cheated or lied to extort money from him. Trust when broken can hardly be gotten back and trust me this can make a man cheat on his wife.
Women, let your husbands hang out with the guys as well. Give them some space to spend some time with their friends and stop being suspicious of their every move. There are times he would want to unwind after a day’s job with his friends and then spice it up with his wife when he gets home (if you know what I mean).
Like it’s commonly said, a way to a man’s heart is through his belly. Learn to be a good cook. Do not just settle for your local delicacies but cook varieties. If possible get a cook book to learn other delicacies your husband might like.
Rather than complain about your husband to your friends, be proud of him and if you must speak to some one to seek advice, speak to some one with the fear of God.
The friends you keep is a key factor to the success of your marriage. As a married woman, you don’t even need too many friends around you but a very few who are like minded and share same values as you.
No matter how old your marriage is, always spice it up with new activities sexually and otherwise. Never feel your marriage is stale or beyond repair. A heaven on earth marriage is possible and some couples are already enjoying it.
After all being said and done, how often do you pray for your husband? Prayer is the most important factor for a successful marriage. Your husband goes out everyday and comes across different challenges and temptations. Among the challenges and temptations he faces are seeing pretty ladies every day. Even if your husband is a pastor, never forget he is in human form and not an angel so at such your prayers are needed. Never be too angry to the point you fail or refuse to pray for your husband as one major thing that keeps him going is your prayers despite his shortcomings.
In as much as we acknowledge God’s grace as the key factor that keeps our marriages, we must put in conscious efforts to keep it going.
The difference between a marriage that fails and the one that doesn’t fail is Knowledge.

credit: Vivian Ukoma

 

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