My eyes were swollen up with tears. I had lost it all, my pride, my dignity, my virginity and my salvation.
I managed to take a cold shower that morning and I barely let the water run over my body before I came out of the shower, so I would not delay. I put on my stained dress and tied my scarf around my waist. I knotted it twice and made sure it covered the blood stain that was massive.
“ Hey!” Steven called me, “take this ten thousand naira and get something decent, I don’t like the way you’re dressed ”
He said without looking at me, I saw guilt in his eyes and I knew he regretted what he had done but then it was too late.
“ I don’t need your money… It cannot bring back what I have lost “, I said. And hot tears burned my cheek as I spoke.
I picked my bag and left his house in shame.
As I walked pass the streets, I remembered the dream sister Sarah shared with me, it became clear and synonymous with what had just happened to me. I remembered my mother’s advice again and I only wished I had adhered. I muttered ridiculously to myself as I walked home and my head kept spinning, I felt dizzy and weak, it seemed like my whole body was on fire. A salty wetness warmed my mouth. I closed my eyes and slipped away into quiet.
“where am I”, I asked, extremely confused.
“you’re in a hospital dear. You collapsed on the street and some good Samaritans helped to bring you here”, A lady in a lab coat and a stethoscope around her neck replied back.
“we ran a series of test on you and your blood and urine samples were taken. A chemical toxicological analysis indicated that you had consumed flunitrazepam”, she explained further.
“Ma’am what does that mean? “, I asked, extremely confused by what she had said.
“dear, flunitrazepam is a type of hard drug that knocks one out in couple of minutes”, she explained and for awhile stopped to look at me.
“what actually happened to you? I saw blood stains on your dress… Where you by any chance raped?”, she asked and her eyes were fixed on mine.
I kept silent for long. What could I say? How was I going to explain my shameful mistake?
“look dear we can help you find this criminal and make sure he pays for it but we can only do nothing until you speak up”, she persuaded even further but I kept silent still. I couldn’t hold in the heavy flow of tears that leaked from my eyes and if it were possible to end my existence, I’d have ended it at once.
“what is your name?”, she asked.
“Grace ma”, I replied with my head bowed down.
“you look like one from a Godly background and I’m really interested to know what happened to you”, she said.
“I allowed the wind of fear, trials and temptations to blow me away. I was afraid of what people would say but I wasn’t afraid of loosing my salvation. I refused to listen to warnings that kept coming but rather chose to follow my own will. I have lost it all ma’am and I just wish I could end my existence…. I don’t think God can ever forgive me again “, I narrated sadly.
“Grace.” She patted my shoulder. “God is truly merciful, that was why He gave you a second chance. The drug which was discovered in your body is a very dangerous type and it could have killed you but its still a miracle how you were able to survive it. I think God wants to give you a second chance to retrace your steps back to him.” She said. She drew out a wipe and cleaned my wet cheek.
“No matter what it is that happened, God is always ready to forgive when we admit our mistakes and come back to Him.” She said.
“please just be careful next time OK.” She advised and left me to rest.
I laid back on the bed and wept grievously.
I was discharged after two days and was made to return back to my hostel.
I got a call from the school management and I went straight away to find out what it was.
“Miss Grace, we found your script immediately after you left my office last week. We are really sorry for the inconveniences”, Mr Henry explained.
It was the very exact day I agreed to follow Steven to his apartment where I lost my virginity.
“Why now? Why does it have to be now?!”,
I wept uncontrollably, not minding that other staffs were watching.
“young lady please calm down, you are supposed to be excited that you’d finally be able to go on I.T with your colleagues.” Mr. Henry said.
I hated my life at that point and I just couldn’t stop regretting.
I finally returned back home to run my I.T program, my parents were excited to have me back.
Everything seemed to have been fine in the first month of my industrial attachment but things started to fall apart when I suddenly fell ill and collapsed at my I.T center. I was rushed to the hospital and it was discovered that I was a month pregnant.
“ Who is responsible? Answer me or I’ll kill you with my bare hands. How did you get this pregnancy? ” dad asked.
“daddy am sorry… Its the devil”, I said as I shivered uncontrollably.
Dad swayed slightly, from side to side, his hands vibrated as though he was going to do something extremely horrible.
“For the last time Grace who is responsible?”
He asked again.
I could only cry and never did I alter a word. Dad stared at me for a while, he sat down and slowly lowered his head into his hands, and I wondered if he was crying. Mum sat on the floor close to the kitchen, she placed her both hands on her head and wept bitterly.
“Why did you choose to bring shame and reproach to this family? Did we do any wrong by sending you to the university?”, Dad lamented. He stood up and left the house without saying a word to me.
I threw myself on the floor and wept vigorously.
I had to quit school to take care of my baby. I finally gave birth to a girl and I named her Faith.
Even though I finally retraced my steps back to the Lord, I still lost a glorious future. I could have become an accountant or an administrator but I ended up being a single mother and a cleaner in a hospital…..
LESSON: Don’t think that God is not aware of your present predicament. He allows every problems of life to try our faith and there is always a reward to those who wait patiently upon the Lord…
Remain blessed TO GO BACK TO EPISODE 1. CLICK HERE