I just have this yearning to address you today. I don’t know if what I’m about to say really applies to you personally, but I’ll still try.
I notice things a lot, especially little things and as a brother, I can say it is with much love and concern that I say all these things to you today.
You know you are beautiful and kind, and godly and of a cheerful character, but it seems life doesn’t reward you for your goodness.
You have everything you need to lead a good life and God has blessed you with gifts and an inner peace and continous joy.
Yet, as you approach, or are now past, the age of marriage, you keep wondering why it seems the people who approach you are unserious brothers and game-players.
They come with their smiles and show of care and when you begin to loosen and open yourself to them, they disappear only for you later realize they had been testing you and weighing you up all the while.
They had other candidates beside you and even after professing they love you, and also telling you they would like to marry you, you find out they had said the same thing to many a sister.
‘Are there still any brothers in the world who have not bent their knees to deception, who do not play games with a sister’s heart?’ You ask.
Sister, I want to assure you that you are not alone in this; it is not a problem peculiar to you. And like any universal problem, you don’t have to worry too much or think there is anything wrong with you.
There is nothing wrong with you.
Now sis, allow me speak freely…
You see, we humans, one of our failings is that we don’t see far into the future, we don’t know what lies ahead of us.
But God does.
Unfortunately, many of us, humans generally, have also tuned out the voice and direction of God in our daily affiars.
Otherwise, we would be more attentive to the Spirit of God and not worry too much about things such as this.
I for one, one thing I want the most is a life that listens to God and is so lost in the Lord that I live a life free of any fears or doubts about the future; Since I always have the assurance that God never forgets or forsakes his own.
You see, what most people miss in this area of spiritual leading is sincerity.
We are not sincere with God and we have our own ideas and perspectives.
Most of the brothers that play games with your emotion and act deceptively are just a bunch of people with doubts clouding their own minds, and lacking sight.
They are confused as to who to actually marry and settle with, so they just do the carnal trial-and-error method.
Sis, these brothers are the ones with problems, not you.
Don’t commit yourself to anyone of them, yet, don’t be rude or dismissive to any.
I know this requires great wisdom to execute but I trust you have ample understanding.
I repeat, Don’t commit yourself to anyone, and still, don’t be rude or dismissive to any of them.
You see, I will confess something to you.
Most of us, men, don’t actually know what exactly we want in a woman.
We really do not have a clear picture of who we want to marry and settle down with.
Most of us just have an idea, a general idea- brothers want a fine young Christian woman with a godly character like you who would respect them.
But there are thousands of ladies that fit into that description in this country alone.
This is why these brothers take the easy way of Sampling and Testing- trying to measure a sister to see if she fits.
However, my sister, I tell you truthfully, brothers who lack focus are the ones that do this.
And you don’t want to marry a brother who has no focus, do you?
No. These brothers clearly are not for you.
No one finds a gold or diamond while digging and still continue to look for other things in the sand. Except if such person doesn’t recognize or know the value of what he has found.
You have gotten what you want, why bother looking for another thing?
When a brother finds you, as precious and good as you are, he would not see any need to keep looking for other sisters as candidates.
If he does, it is obvious he doesn’t know your value as a rare gem and pearl of great price- let him go- he doesn’t value you enough.
This is why some churches have a marriage committee; to test if a man is really ready to take the bold step and make the firm decision when he becomes serious about you.
When a brother finds you, and sees the beauty and goodness and your true value, he will close up shop and stop searching.
He will look no further for any other, for he knows he would never find someone so precious and fitting for him.
If he still continues to choose between you and another, well, maybe he doesn’t deserve you.
But the above can only be said of a lady who has great respect for herself. Who knows what she is and knows she is a great woman all by herself.
A young woman who knows God created her full of substance and rich in gifts and character.
Who has no self-doubt or weakness in one way or the other.
A virtuous woman who would never sell herself cheap- and who seeks to know and do the will of God always.
And I believe you are one of such.
So, just be patient, dear sis.
I assure you it is just a matter of time, he that will come will come- and everything will fall into their right places and it will all become clear.
And you will be glad you waited.
God will make him worth your while.
That is just it, sis.
Patience. Prayer. Sincerity with God.
And while you wait, work on your own self and your own future- it is not an exclusive right of men to have dreams.
Patience is a difficult thing; it is hard as stone, but it always stops the rushing water of doubts and fear.
My sister, you are not cheap.
You are a precious pearl.
Whoever gets you should be thankful he did.
God bless you.
Credit: Victor James