I asked a friend some years back if she planned to get married soon; and her answer reeked of wisdom.
In answering me, she in turn asked me why we must marry in the first place.
And I think for anyone thinking about having a wedding and getting a partner for life eventually, it is very pertinent to get a sincere answer to that question.
Why, indeed, do you want to get married in the first place.
As I believe everyone now knows, there are wrong reasons to get married. And there are very wrong reasons to do so too.
When I was 12 or so, even though I had a lot of sisters, my mom forbade them from helping me wash clothes. She rightly believed everyone must be able to take care of their basic needs, irrespective of gender.
By the time I was 16, I had gotten accustomed to doing things myself. But on a certain day, when I was tired and had a pile of clothes to wash, I told my siblings in humour,
‘One day, I go marry and I no go dey wash clothes again.’ Even as young as I was then, I knew it could only be a statement said as a joke.
We all laughed and when I got older and wiser, as I realized the folly in the statement I made while I was a teenager, I also found out that so many gentlemen still think the same ignorant manner I had spoken while I was but a teen.
I discovered there are actually some men whose sole purpose for marriage is to stop washing clothes; or stop cooking.
They ought to ‘Marry a Washing Machine’ as my people used to say.
These folks stop washing clothes two weeks to their wedding ceremony and even pack their dirty laundry with them to the reception venue.
I can imagine them sitting beside their new bride on their way home and whispering to her ears;
‘Honey, my dirty clothes are in the boot; I have been patiently waiting for you to help me wash them. God bless you for coming into my life.’
It is a funny thought, but I assure you, it may not be too far from the truth.
And it happens with the ladies too.
I’ve heard people say they are being ‘suffocated’ in their parents house, and therefore, want to cling to a man, a husband that will ‘deliver’ them from the yoke of their parents.
A brother Moses to break the chains of their Egyptian parent’s control off their Israelites necks.
‘I just want to leave this house.’ they often cry. ‘Let my Prince Charming come and steal me away. I’m bored of this place.’
Now, if the mother who gave birth to you, and your father who knew you from your naked years, if they could successfully suffocate you as you said, don’t you think this strange man will also do the same in a couple of years?
Won’t you find Him and his home boring after some months or even weeks?
‘We will continue to spice up the marriage; I know of some techniques.’ You, my sister, might say.
But life is not a movie. And it is definitely not a soup with spices.
You are who you are.
Problems we put off often have a way of waiting for us in the future; still unsolved.
The two illustrations above are some of the very wrong reasons people head into marriage in this generation.
And eventually, they may come back some few years later and start campaigning against the marriage union and keep advising young ones to steer clear of it.
And some of us too, we just see a family with their bitterness and woes and start getting afraid of our own futures. We go ahead and conclude within us that maybe marriage was not for us.
But do you know the root of the matter? Do you know the origin of their own problems?
Do you know how their story all started?
Why then do you judge hastily?
Let us go back to Genesis and check why the almighty God initiated marriage in the first place.
And We will discover it was ‘because it was not good for man to be alone.’ and the creator decided to ‘Make an helper for him.’ (Genesis 2:18)
That’s it right there, friends.
God instituted the marriage union for the sole purpose of companionship.
In his infinite wisdom, the Lord decided to create the marriage union just so we can find a helper, a partner, a companion to help us walk through the wilderness of life.
Procreation, with all its importance, is not even the primary aim of marriage.
It was not even made to particularly preserve Purity in human’s sexual Pleasure.
Neither is it mainly for purpose or peace of mind.
Marriage is for partnership.
And come to think of it in human, romantic terms too.
You meet a man or woman.
Before you met him or her, you have been living your life as well as you could.
But from the day you two meet, you begin to realize this other human completes you. Everything you think about revolves around his/her life.
You are very much in love with his/her soul, spirit and body.
And eventually, as you get closer, you realize you don’t want to spend a day more apart.
So you decide to marry and continue living together and spending all your time and your life together.
That’s the right reason to marry right there! The same thing God spoke about in the scriptures.
Marriage is for companionship!
Let’s get things right.