Many of my counselees have asked me “HOW DO I KNOW IF I AM READY FOR A RELATIONSHIP?”. Maturity is not all about age. I decided to compile this list to answer the question.
1. YOU ARE DEPENDENT ON YOUR PARENT.
If you still depend on your parents for everything on earth, it’s a good sign you are not ready for relationship.
If you can’t make any decision and stand by it without your parents,
If you can’t buy clothes including underwear without involving your parents,
if you can’t leave the house for somewhere without the knowledge of your parents,
if you can’t live alone from your parents,
if you still depend on your parents for airtime,
If you still depend on your parents to remind you before you pray and fast,
Then you don’t need a relationship but need to grow up to be independent.
2. YOU ARE SECRETIVE.
Nobody hides good things. If you still believe in hide and seek relationship, it’s a good sign you are not ripe for relationship.
If you are not bold enough to introduce your partner to your family and friends,
If you still clear your chat history because of your parent,
If you still hide to receive call or ignore his or her call because of the presence of people,
If you still hide to chat in family and friends presence,
If you still tell lies so as to escape from house to meet him or her,
Then, you don’t need a relationship.
When you are ripe for relationship, you will know and people will start asking you who is she or he? 😅😅😅 Your Dad or mum will ask, when are you bringing him or her?
3. YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND THE PURPOSE OF RELATIONSHIP.
When the purpose of a relationship is not known, abuse is inevitable.
Premarital sex or romance, abortion, verbal or physical attack are abuse.
Dear Sister, relationship is not a place where the brother will examine all the local Government in your body.
Relationship is not for sex or romance.
Relationship is to check if you are compatible.
Relationship is not for sexual, verbal, physical and emotional abuse ;
Relationship is to develop a foundation for your marriage.
A purpose driven relationship will lead to a successful marriage.
4. YOU DON’T KNOW HOW TO HEAR FROM GOD.
A man or woman that cannot hear from God will lead you into destruction or make some ungodly carnal decision.
That’s why you can’t go into relationships with a sinner because anybody born of God cannot sin.
If you are not sure of your salvation experience, you need the book “NEW CREATION REALITIES BY E.W KENYON” not relationship.
Once you were born into this world, twice “YOU MUST BE BORN AGAIN!”
Those who are being led by the holy spirit are the children of God.
If you don’t know how to be led by the holy through inner witness, audible voice and still small voice ; then you don’t need a relationship yet but the book “HOW TO BE LED BY THE HOLY SPIRIT BY KENNETH E HAGIN”
Someone who has not being hearing from God concerning other spheres of life may not here God when it comes to relationship and marriage.
Develop your inner ear to listen to God before you start that relationship.
5. YOU HAVE NOT DISCOVERED PURPOSE.
You need to marry someone going in your direction in life,
You need to marry your purpose mate.
If you have not discovered your purpose of existence, how will you know your purpose mate? I recommend the book ” U IN YOU BY Grace Oladele “, “WHAT IS MY PURPOSE? A TRILLION DOLLAR QUESTION BY COACH Apute Ben Ochuko ” or “THE PURPOSE BOOK BY DR Samuel Ekundayo ” .
If you don’t want to abuse yourself or your partner in the relationship, discover who God says you are and live to fulfill the purpose of God on earth.
Knowing your purpose on earth boils down to knowing that your body is only for your husband only not ordinary fiance or fiancee. I don’t expect you to engage in boyfriend or girlfriend sexualized relationship because it’s shameful.
6. YOU CANNOT CONTROL YOUR EMOTION.
If you are unstable emotionally, it’s a good sign you don’t need a relationship.
If you have erection at any slight of a lady, you need emotional stability. Read the book “SPIRIT CONTROLLED TEMPERAMENT BY TIM LAHAYE”
If you always feel like sexually abusing a lady whenever you are together in private place, you need to be healed from lust, feel free to talk to me. If you are a rapist or sexual abuser, you don’t need a relationship but Jesus, feel free to talk to me.
If you feel like opening your leg for sex or you want to be romanced whenever you sight a man, you need to be cured from lust. You don’t need a relationship, you need sanctification of your soul. You can talk to SEXUAL PURITAN ADEROPO( SPA)
7. NO MARRIAGE IN VIEW.
If you don’t have marriage plan or goal, you don’t need a relationship.
If you can’t think of marriage in the next five years, you don’t need a relationship.
You know what? I discovered from my counseling that most Metuselarship (prolong relationship) are rarely free of sexual immorality. This doesn’t mean you should rush into marriage. Love is patient. Don’t rush!
8. YOU ARE NOT SINGLE.
If you still believe you need a man or woman to be complete, you don’t need a relationship because Col.2.10 says And ye are complete in HIM(JESUS) , which is the head of all principality and power: not in any man or woman.
If you think you need a man or woman to maintain stable spiritual, financial, medical or academic life, then you don’t need a relationship.
If you are not happy single, you may not be happy getting engaged!
Be fully single before bringing someone to join you.
You can be single but not stupid!
You can be single but not cursed!
You can be single without wrinkle!
You can be single and be purposeful!
Enjoy your singleness while it last!
KJV:To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
KJV:A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.
KJV:He hath made every thing beautiful in his time: also he hath set the world in their heart, so that no man can find out the work that God maketh from the beginning to the end. Oluwaniyi