John Mikel Obi was Nigeria Super Eagles captain for many years, and he won a lot of trophies for both Nigeria and his club in England, Chelsea Football Club. There is an interview of his I watched some years ago; I believe the video is still on YouTube till date. Mikel Obi, who had spent more than twenty years outside the country, plying his trade and playing his football, was asked back then when he would marry. In reply, he started by saying only God knows the right person for a man or woman. I was surprised. Here was a man who had spent most of his life out there, and he still believed the Almighty must be the major factor in choosing a life partner. It goes without saying, that in this part of the world, when it gets down to it, most people really want God to help them come to a decision about who to marry. I mean, if you ask majority of people directly, if they would want God to choose for them, they will give a resounding Yes. But the problem of reality comes when you start to ask the Creator to show you His choice, but you are not getting any answers. Numerous young people pray and fast for answers when they come to this junction of their life, and at the end of the solemn supplication, they are not better off than when they didn’t pray. It would have been easier if time stood still without moving, and age doesn’t increase with time; but that is not the case. As you await the necessary answers and watch out for the signals from heaven, you are getting older by the day, and time is running to eternity. Two choices are then before you. You either wait and be patient with God, or you decide to change your strategy and make your own choice with faith in God. If you go with the latter option, that is, you decide to follow your mind, whether after prayers or not, and you make your choice without an express, clear-cut, unmistakable and firm voice or vision from God, there are some temptations I believe you must avoid. You must not lie. When anyone, no matter the title or position, asks you how or why you made your choice of life partner, you have to tell them plainly how it was just love, or strong attraction or affection, or common sense, whatever it was that determined your decision. You have to be careful not to fall into the temptation of cooking up cock and bull, cat and dog, goat and sheep stories of how you dreamt you were bathing and your soap suddenly finished. And then, Lo and behold, one fine person came to you and stretched out an imperial lather soap, and you heard a mighty voice like thunder from heaven, telling you in your local language, ‘This is the one.’ All these lies just to convince a man about why you are making your decision. And for what? Just to get an approval, you sin against God? And why will you lie against God, just because you want to please a man? It is your decision to make, for whatever reason you have decided to marry each other, the only person that needs convincing is yourself, and then, your partner. Every other person is secondary to this. We didn’t hear of anytime that Adam saw a vision of Eve before he married her. He just woke up, saw her and that was it. Abraham, the father of faith, wasn’t said to have been led by any dreams before Sarah was his. Even for Isaac, it was only his father’s servant that did the business of being led; he just saw Rebekkah and knew it was her. Jacob and Rachael? Nothing was written about any heavenly dreams or visions; it was just love. Even Leah was forced upon him dubiously. Joseph married in a strange land, no one knows how he did it. We knew he dreamt about his future and all of them came to pass, but we didn’t hear anything about his leading to his wife. I can go on and on. Joseph and Mary in the new testament weren’t recorded to have been led in any way to each other. An angle only stepped in, not in the choice making, but when there was a risk of falsely punishing Mary for what she didn’t do. And the angel came to set things straight between the earthly parents of our Lord. We are living in the time of Grace, and that comes with many luxuries and advantages imparted by the Spirit; but please, let us not overstretch our boundaries. If you are among the fortunate ones who saw visions and had dreams, or heard a still small voice, and felt the nudging of the Spirit’s directions, be glad and have faith in the leading of the Lord. It is a marvelous thing. But if you have none of the above, and what you have is just your plain decision and feelings, please, once you are going ahead with your decisions, never lie about it. Please. . . . #VJW #VictorJamesWrites

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