EIGHT WRONG RELATIONSHIP FOUNDATION FOR MARRIAGE!
Having read the news of the 4000 divorce application in Abuja Court, it’s therefore necessary to look into faulty foundation that leads to marital failure.
This is very common in higher institutions and I see young ladies and guys living together In a room or spending weekends with each other even when they are not married.
Don’t perform the duties of wife to a man who is yet to pay your bride price.
Why would you turn yourself to a cook, washing and cleaning machine when you are not married?
Why would you pack in into a guy’s house or stay overnight with a guy you are not married to?
Have you forgotten men rarely value whatever they don’t sacrifice to get?
Let him go through the marital process before you start showing him the duty of a wife.
I am not surprised when you complained he didn’t propose to you despite playing all wifey roles to him for years.
Why would he propose to you when ordinary boyfriends has sex with you morning, afternoon and night? Such ladies are disappointment to womanhood.
How will you feel after paying wife or husband role to a fiance or fiancee and you had break up?
So as to save yourself from unnecessary pain and regret, never agree to cohabit with a man.
Most marriages that are founded on cohabitation don’t stand the TESTS OF TIME before they crash, separated or divorce.
2. Parental Disagreement.
I got to know that many marriage where the Husband’s mother and wife does not have cordial relationship rarely last.
A woman told me that the mother-in-law married another wife for his husband because there was a disagreement between her and the mother in law.
I learnt Kobe Bryan, the popular basketball who died in Helicopter crash 🚁 had a permanent relationship breakdown with the parents because she went to marry the wife against the wish of the parents with the reason being that, they said the lady was too young to get married immediately after finishing High school and probably they do not like her behavior.
I learnt that Kobe’s family and parents don’t relate as at when he died.
See a situation where Kobe died, the mother and the wife couldn’t come together to maintain peace or keep a contact with each other despite having children for the family.
A Yorùbá brother who wanted to marry an Edo lady got a rejection from his parents based on tribe but he went ahead and prayed fervently till they agree.
The man is enjoying the marriage today with four beautiful children.
Ignoring your physical parents and spiritual parents like Pastor, Mentor and church leaders with a genuine reason you should not marry an individual is synonymous to signing up a will for a marriage with a faulty foundation.
Based on my observations, I have realized that marriages that don’t have parental support usually fail the TESTS OF TIME.
3. PREMARITAL SEX.
Before premarital sex, a man usually claims he loves a lady but detest her bitterly after premarital Sex. You can ask Tamar and Abnom if you don’t know.
I could remember how my friend hated the girlfriend after having sex with her in secondary school.
I asked him why he hated someone he claimed to love before sex, he said he can’t just explain but he just developed passionate hatred against her after having sex with her.
You realize the phone calls and chats reduces after premarital sex, that’s what premarital sex does.
You realize he stopped being caring, start nagging, complaining and maltreating you after premarital sex? That’s what premarital sex does.
You realize he still went ahead and have sex with another lady despite all your sex skills? That’s what premarital sex does.
A man’s respect for you will drop from 💯 to zero after having premarital sex with you.
You aborted for him and you still expect him to marry you? That’s why he went to marry another lady and dump you.
Sex is not love, if sex is love then prostitute will be the most loving.
Many ladies comes to me and shed crocodile tears 😭, he left me after having sex with him and I felt used.
Many ladies comes to me, he left me because I didn’t give him sex.
Either you give him sex or not, he already planned to leave you.
A man that loves you will never leave you because you did not give him sex.
A man that loves you will encourage you to keep your virginity till marriage.
You are training a cheat in marriage when you have premarital sex with a man. If he can’t control his body when he’s single, he can’t control it when he is married. That’s the more reason many men runs after side chicks before they never maintain virginity and sexual purity till marriage.
Why would you open your leg for ordinary boyfriend/fiance and turn 360° performing different sex styles for a man who’s not your husband?
I know you are always ashamed doing that but you need to summon courage and leave that Sexship you called relationship.
Most marriage founded on premarital sex mostly lead to divorce, abusive or enduring marriage. Many men who carries side chicks are from a marriage where they never practice virginity and sexual purity till marriage.
4. Lies /Deceit.
A Pastor’s daughter brought a man to the church marriage committee for wedding and they asked her to be patient so as to make their findings before they can proceed to the wedding.
While making their findings, they discovered that the brother lied and forged the letter he submitted to the marriage committee and because of this, they told the lady that she can’t marry the man.
Being a Pastor’s daughter, the Pastor’s family disagreed with the marriage committee and said the marriage must hold.
The whole Church nearly divided because of her wedding. Pastors fought one another and her parents and siblings even stopped greeting some of the Pastors who opposed her wedding.
Eventually, the Pastor’s family insisted the wedding must be held and it would be held in a court since the church ⛪ insisted it won’t hold there and anyone who attends the wedding will be thoroughly sanctioned.
The court wedding was held and bitterness, anger and hatred ensued because many pastors and members didn’t attend the wedding of the first daughter of the founding Pastor.
In less than seven years of the wedding, the husband used to complain of sickness and he often visit the hospital and the wife thought it was a normal sickness.
After a while, he became terribly sick and they had to rush him to the hospital.
After he has been in the hospital for days and in comma, he told the wife to take care of the only child they have but she rebuked him for saying such a thing.
At the late hours, the Doctor asked the wife if she’s aware of what’s wrong with the husband, but she replied she thought it’s just fatigue and the Doctor looked with amazement that, what? Don’t tell me your husband did not tell you?
The Doctor told the wife that the husband has a lung Cancer for years and he refused to take care of it very well.
The Doctor confirmed that the cancer has been there for years and the wife shouted with great surprise 😲 while crying 😢.
So, you meant he deceived me into marriage knowing that he had such a chronic disease in his body without telling me before and after marriage?
Had it been that I knew this early enough in marriage, with prayers and supplications from the brethren, maybe things would have been sorted out.
By the time she would asked the husband, she couldn’t talk very well anymore and he had to go through lung surgery which he didn’t survive.
She came to conclusion that, had I known, I would have listened to the Pastors who disagreed about the person I wanna marry and cancel the wedding plan as advised.
With deep regret, sorrow, pain and pandemonium, the whole family and church was thrown into mourning of the news of the passing away of Pastor’s daughter husband.
Never tell a lady lies just because she can marry you.
Never hide your child or children from a man or woman so that he or she can marry you.
Never hide your medical status from a man or woman just because you wanna marry him or her.
True lovers don’t tell each other lies.
Don’t lovers says the truth always.
I heard a story of a man who usually sniff the wife’s pants after coming back from work.
The woman was a banker and the husband never trusted her about being faithful to him.
The man would ask the wife to remove the pants to sniff if there’s any sperm stain or smell on her pant and body.
The marriage went sour just because of the man’s several suspicious actions and monitoring spirit.
Don’t marry a man or woman you don’t trust with your life, money, social media login details, time, phone, health, career and properties.
A lady well known to me wanted to get married to a guy who earns 10, 000naira per month.
Her married brother asked him why he wants to marry to a man who earns 10k per month?
She replied, I have a friend who she and the husband earns less than 5000naira and they are enduring the marriage.
The brother asked, why do you want to endure marriage when you have option to enjoy it? She bluntly insisted everything would be fine.
The brother’s wife asked her, are you aware that monthly pampers and baby’s food 🍲 and hospital bills cost more than 10k in a month? What about your house 🏡 rent? What about your children school fee?
Has this guy told you if he has a plan to further his study, go into business or large scale farming? She said, no.
The lady practically paid for all the wedding expenses and her family got angry that why would you wanna still marry a man who cannot afford a wedding? She complained age is no longer on her side. They asked how old is she and she replied 28 years.
After less than five years of marriage with several fights on money and having borrowed money from different people to sustain the family,
Frequent throwing out of her bags on any occasion of slight financial arguments and threatening her to throw her out of the rented apartment they both paid for, the guy finally sent her packing from the house because he claimed the wife told the Pastor in church that the husband doesn’t take care of her.
As at today, she’s the only paying the children school fee and feeding them with her little pry school teacher salary because the husband never picked her call again and didn’t send her a dime to cater for the children.
A counselee told me how she’s suffering because she got pregnant for a bank security guard while she works as a cleaner in the bank.
She told me how much their suffering and always borrowing because their salary is never enough to take care of family expenses.
This doesn’t mean that you should not marry a man with prospects but ensure he has something doing.
Never marry a man without a job or realistic financially plan because love alone doesn’t pay bills.
Never marry a guy who can’t feed himself not to talk about owning his own apartment, because it’s like signing a will for suffering.
Love is good, but money is the grease that makes it run.
If you are too lazy to make money as a man, you should be too lazy to get married as well.
6. Incessant Fighting.
If you fight always in your relationship, this is a wrong foundation for your marriage.
You fight and disagree on all things when you don’t have children, money and properties ; what do you think will happen when you get married with a lot of responsibilities? You will beat and drag each other to court.
You are supposed to marry a friend not someone who fights you always.
Someone who raped, beat, insult or curse you in a relationship has laid abusive foundation, wisdom demands you don’t continue the relationship if you don’t want have lifetime regret.
A friend is someone who adds value to you and understand you.
A friend of mine who held her wedding last year on December 30th didn’t invite any external persons to the wedding. The wedding was great and it was strictly by invitation.
One of the bad foundation you can lay for your marriage is to hold wedding with debt.
I have seen couples who have not finished paying their debts years after wedding.
The people you want to impress with your wedding will not be there for you when you are broke and stranded.
Wedding is a day but marriage is a lifetime. Save for marriage not wedding.
If there’s anybody to please, it’s your wife-to-be by preparing for wedding not external people who knows nothing about you.
I heard of people who are yet to finish their wedding debt before they divorce or separated.
One of the major causes of problems in marriage is money aside sex.
I am not against having wedding party but I don’t support borrowing to hold wedding.
8. Spiritual Laziness.
A relationship where you don’t pray, you will eventually be a prey together.
A relationship where you don’t study Bible, you cannot avoid sin.
A relationship where you don’t fast and pray together, you are giving devil chances.
A relationship built on carnality will not give birth to spirituality.
If he doesn’t pray with you now in relationship, he will not pray with you in marriage.
If you build a bungalow foundation for a story building or sky scrapper, the building will definitely collapse ; so also, a marriage built on wrong foundation will definitely crash, divorce or separated either sooner or later.
The only foundation that you are to build your relationship on is the Scripture.
KJV: If the foundations be destroyed, what can the righteous do?–O.A.H