The reason many are in abusive relationship or marriage today is due to lack of emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence helps you to understand, use and manage your own emotion in relation with your lover.
Emotional Intelligence is not built in a day. Some were taught while others learn through personal or other’s experience.
Calling your partner multiple times despite you know he or she is not picking your call willingly is a sign that you lack emotional intelligence. If you matter to him or her, you will be called back after two or three missed calls. Two missed calls is enough between healthy lovers, and worst scenario is calling three times. If such doesn’t pick up, assume your partner is busy or not willing to pick up. Let it go! That’s all.
If your partner says “don’t call, chat or visit me”, then don’t go ahead. That’s a sign that you are emotionally intelligent and you can control yourself. Let him or her know that you can do without them and they are replaceable.Why do you endure physical or verbal abuse despite a clear instruction that someone is not interested in you or the relationship? You need emotional intelligence!
If he or she tells you that they are not interested in the relationship, don’t beg or cry! That’s emotional intelligence.The fact that it came out from his or her mouth shows that it has been planned.Why do you want to carry someone who takes you as a pinch of salt like a bag of cement?You may ask what’s your offense, and if you are found guilty, you can ask for forgiveness and apologize. If after your apology, and such still insist that no more relationship. You have to respect their decision to quit the relationship.When you love something, you let it go by giving it freedom.
Even despite how much God loved his only begotten son, he released him to be crucified.Holding on to a relationship by fire and force is not love, it’s a sign of selfishness. You can fight(not physical punching) for your marriage, not relationship.Before he or she dumps you, dump such person by picking a race immediately such call off the relationship.
This is more reason you should not invest too much in a relationship to avoid being too emotionally attached in the face of break up.Don’t allow premarital sex not to talk about abortion because it will get you too emotionally attached as a lady. Don’t give too much money as a man because it will get you too emotionally attached.
If he or she stops picking your call because you say no to premarital sex or giving money, then such is an emotional manipulator. You need emotional intelligence to overcome an emotional manipulator.Don’t just stop calling him or her, ensure that you block all means of communication both online and offline between you.
That’s how to win such game. Let him or her know that you are ready to loose the him, her or the relationship. You don’t beg. You don’t cry. You don’t give in to forced or coerced requests by an emotional manipulator all in the name of relationship.This is emotional intelligence! Very deep
An emotional manipulator makes you feel that they are doing you a favor by accepting your proposal, proposing to you or being in a relationship with you.Don’t accept that. You are someone’s prayer point. Tell him or her straight to their face. If she or he doesn’t marry you, you will still get married. What if she or she dies, will you remain single for life?
It takes wisdom to manage your emotions in a relationship. Emotion is powerful than knowledge but with wisdom, you can manage your emotions. When you have enough knowledge backed up with spiritual self-control, then you can put your emotions in check.
One of the signs of growth and emotional maturity is ability to say No to what will hurt your emotion and is against your spiritual beliefs, even when the pressure is real.