>>> Some of the REASONS are:
1. HIGH EXPECTATIONS
* Believers put a high and unrealistic expectation on themselves and their partner and when they find cracks in his or her character they get devastated angry and very unforgiving.
* People who are not ‘churchy’ expect their partner to falter at one point or the other and are more forgiving and accommodating.
* Don’t be overbearing on your spouse, give some room for mistakes bcos we are all humans not Angels & are prone to make mistakes. Forbear one another in love & be Forgiving, no matter the offense done against u. Overlook some little mistakes & correct in love.
2. HIDING TRUE FEELINGS
* Believers don’t discuss issues openly when they are hurt. This is because of wanting to look pious (godly, holy) and not worldly, to their thinking. The problem with this approach is that when issues get out of hand there is no salvaging the relationship.
* Be Sincere & Open-Minded for the Bible said, “Let love be without dissimulation (hypocrisy/disguise)”. Don’t cover up things with some kind of ‘religious smiles’ as if all is well when you know all is not well. Discuss your true feelings abt things & let both of you sort it out when things fall apart, thus your relationship will wax stronger than sevenfold cord.
3. HOPING & WANTING TO IMPRESS OTHERS
* In a bid to look spiritual, some Christian couples also avoid discussing the issues with mentors (pastors or experienced spiritual leaders) and other helpers. They cover true feelings in testimonies of how God is great and has been good to them. They discuss truths in the bible but never how these truths affect them directly and which areas they need to change. They are knowledgeable about God but don’t have him as a shepherd of their heart to direct their home affairs.
* Do what is pleasing to God & be not men-pleasers. Don’t seek to impress people but do the right thing, at the right time & seek help where necessary.
4. HAVING MORE OF JUDGMENTAL SPIRIT THAN THE SPIRIT OF LOVE
* In many marriages we find more judging than loving. When one partner is walking in revelation, is prayerful and victorious in some areas, they become proud, angry and impatient with the weaker partner. We are called to love and be patient with each other as Christ forgave us.
* When we are strong in one area we don’t understand why someone else is struggling in that area and want to condemn them and pass judgment on them. We think that they are not worthy of our love or companionship. Before long we begin to contemplate separating ourselves because being together causes more pain than joy. We start saying that two cannot walk together unless they agree.
* Have the Spirit of love, meekness & understanding. Don’t be too hard on your spouse & don’t be too harsh in your relationship, pray for mutual understanding in your relationship.
5. HEAD KNOWLEDGE OF GOD BUT NOT HEART TRANSFORMATION
* Many Christians have a head knowledge of God but lack the fruit of the spirit. This is knowing more about the psalm and not the Shepherd paradox. A spouse who is close to you will at some point fail you because they are human.
* Let the “Fruit of the Spirit” be fully manifested in ur marriage (Gal. 5:22). A true Christian is being known not by words but by the fruit of the Spirit that he possesses.
* What makes people stay together is how much fruit of the spirit we have in our heart. love, patience, long suffering, goodness meekness etc. Let the Holy Spirit of God transform your heart & then your home too will be a blessing!
I PRAY FOR YOU TODAY THAT ARE HAVING MARRIAGE PROBLEM(S), THAT THE LORD JESUS WILL COME INTO YOUR HEARTS & HOME TO CALM THE RAGING STORMS AND THERE SHALL BE PEACE, LOVE & UNDERSTANDING IN YOUR MARRIAGE TO BE “HEAVEN-ON-EARTH” IN THE MIGHTY NAME OF JESUS!